My Two Favorite Candidates

#1: Michael Marsh (Constitution Party)
Candidate for State Treasurer

Occupation: Maintenance

Occupational Background: a variety of jobs

Educational Background: some college

Prior Governmental Experience: none

Also has a rather interesting personal statement.

I don't know how you feel, but I think the 'variety of jobs' and 'some college' sounds pretty promising, though I am a touch concerned that he believes that Oregon is 'on the verge of collapse' and he seems very angry that the 'leaders of the Democrat and Republican parties with their Ivy League educations* are either incredibly stupid or are deliberately destroying us.'

Also, he looks like he just saw a ghost.

#2: Pavel Goberman (Nonpartisan)
Candidate for Commissioner of the Bureau of Labor and Industries

Occupation: I'm 71, excellent health, no medical problem, have a lot of energy: Founder, Instructor/Provider of unique physical and mental fitness program "Get Energized!"– book, video and exercise classes for governments, businesses and public: may prevent many illnesses, diseases (including cancers) and slow down the aging process. (503)6-GET-FIT (Nice of him to include this, I think.)

Occupational Background: Author, Publisher, Producer, Speaker, Inventor, Consultant, Advisor, Trainer, Coach, Manager (had an Award), Supervisor, Social Worker, Counselor, Machinist, Mechanic, Welder, Truck Driver, Logger, Firefighter and Beekeeper. I'm a Problem Solver.

Educational Background: Have 27 years of education, BA + Degree (Moscow, Russia). Attended a few universities and colleges in the USA. Gave myself PhD in PE. Linguist.

Prior Governmental Experience: Primary 2008 Candidate for US Senator; 2006 Candidate for US Representative, 2004 Candidate for US Senator. 2002 Candidate for Commissioner of BOLI. Tank Army. I'm honest, incorruptible, with faith and high moral principles. Do not accept any "contributions".

Now THIS GUY seems like the real deal! His fitness program may prevent cancers, he's already been a candidate for quite a few offices, and he gave himself a PhD. What's not to love?

*Emphasis mine on all emboldened/italicized text.


Unknown said…
Hahaha! Thanks for posting these. I was literally on the floor laughing last night reading through the voter's guide. Those two definitely stuck out. Gotta love Oregon...
Unknown said…
you're back! this was hysterical.
Matt Mikalatos said…


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