Co-Housing Is Controversial!
Who knew? I, naively, didn't. But the guest post over at Money Saving Mom generated some strong opinions, and it was educational for me to see the range of people's concerns and experiences.
A few of the topics that came up were: affairs, child/sexual abuse, unrespected boundaries in parenting and budgeting, ruined relationships, legal violations, the prevalence of shared housing in other cultures, strengthened relationships, women clashing over how to run a household, personal aversion to the idea of sharing, positive experiences, and more.
I'd like to take some time to consider and respond to some of these here over the next few days and weeks. Right now, I have dinner to serve and a kiddo to take care of, so this short note will have to do!
A few of the topics that came up were: affairs, child/sexual abuse, unrespected boundaries in parenting and budgeting, ruined relationships, legal violations, the prevalence of shared housing in other cultures, strengthened relationships, women clashing over how to run a household, personal aversion to the idea of sharing, positive experiences, and more.
I'd like to take some time to consider and respond to some of these here over the next few days and weeks. Right now, I have dinner to serve and a kiddo to take care of, so this short note will have to do!
Comments
I figured there might be some challenges in having two families live together and thought it was cool that you could work out any problems to make the situation work. I didn't think of any harsh negatives like you said are in the comments. Go figure.
Glad you all have found a way to make things work!
It was quite the experience. It was hard, but i wouldn't take back that experience for anything. I learned alot about myself as a wife and a mother and will venture to say i am a better mother and wife because of it.
I was in the last stages of pregnancy with our first and my busband was finishing school.
Don't let anyone get you down. We came across alot of people who thought we were totally bizarre for doing it. But it worked for us. We now have a place of our own, but still love the other members of our "family" dearly.
By the way I could not find the negative comments you cited.
Here's a description of cohousing from wikipedia:
A cohousing[1] community is a type of intentional community composed of private homes with full kitchens, supplemented by extensive common facilities. A cohousing community is planned, owned and managed by the residents, groups of people who want more interaction with their neighbours.
It's really exciting to find some other people who have tried this or are currently doing it. I've heard about a few scattered situations, but definitely don't know many other people personally who are house sharing.
Stephanie - Wow! That sounds like a crazy set up! I really hope that things settle down a bit and you find a way to live in a way that is somewhat peaceful. I'm sure you'll have some amazing memories from this time and will really be ready for your own place when the time comes. :-)
Fran - I didn't realize that there was such a strict definition of co-housing. Our situation is definitely in the shared housing category. The more negative/ concerned comments (along with positive comments) follow the post at Money Saving Mom.