Settling In

In the hospital when we were first figuring out nursing, Miette would become frantic and screamy - usually in the middle of the night. I called her my little Rabid Squirrel. This picture almost captures it:

We're mainly past that, but she still reminds me of some kind of woodland creature. She hasn't really started purposefully smiling yet, but there are hints of it and she seems so close. About a week ago she was sleeping and had this wonderful wide grin, then she started sleep-laughing - this great, infectious little squeaky chuckle. It was so cute I almost died.

We're learning more about her day by day, but it's an unconscious process. Most of the time we're dealing with the problem at hand, whatever that may be, or trying to use the lack of a problem-at-hand to get something done. Usually it involves cleaning up spit-up. Our lives are covered in spit-up these days. Great volumes of spit-up, in all flavors and varieties. On the floor, furniture, clothes, blankets, etc. But I digress. It can be frustrating to have to work so hard to get the basics done, and often fail even at that. It's amazing to me that even when Jesse and I are double-teaming her, she still comes out on top! I think I can safely say I absolutely don't have what it would take to be a single mom, and I truly wonder how life works when younger siblings come along.

Truthfully, I think she's a pretty easy baby. Even so, there are ups and downs and in-betweens and it is all very tiring. I think I call her 'stupid baby' more often than I call her by her name. But I'm working on that. I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, and it is not at all a disappointment. I just don't know how long it will take to get back to normal. Actually, I already know it probably won't, and that's okay, too.


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